I used to think the word "maybe" would be one of those highlights of a question for me. That "maybe" I was just assuming and jumping straight to conclusions. I used to think “maybe”… was somewhat a significant word to describe my thoughts that there will be a slight change of decisions or even just hope. “Maybe” is a word where one day I would do certain things in which I will successfully accomplish some goal in which will help lead towards happiness. I find happiness the hardest thing to accomplish. Everyone in life will grow and will want a piece of success, love, trust and respect. The attentiveness, comfort, and just company from those I loved off was something I’ve always depended on the most in which I was left with feelings of disappointment. The simplicity of an unanswered phonecall, no replies to text messages, no replies towards an email or message and the effort of people giving up on me seems most reasonable for me to think that the people I love, don’t care as they used to. Maybe it’s because people eventually grow tired of the same things, same voice, and also the fact that people want new changes or meet different people. I’d like to think it’s one of those reasons for me to give an excuse for them. It’s like I tell myself “maybe, because they’re busy, maybe they’re not interested in me, maybe I’m just a complete joke that’s so called untrustworthy.I think that after writing this post “maybe, people will think I’m victimizing myself, that I am insecure but I don’t think I am.. I mean I’m just putting effort to the same people as always and it seems that no matter how many days go by or how slow the time passes…** Maybe,** I’m starting to feel all these changes. That we’re actually growing far apart faster than I thought. I mean.. it’s not a maybe thing for me to say that I care.. it’s just that I really do care so often.. I end up being the one getting left behind. I truly love those that hurt me still and I wouldn’t want to just leave all of this as it is.
If i could erase certain feelings.. it would be getting hurt by the ones i love. Whats more worst is when they hurt you and then all you have left is yourself. You cant really run to anyone and have comfort when its them that you depend on so often.