사랑은 바다를 닮은것같다,
I think love is a lot like the ocean,
it is noisy when shallow,
그리고 깊을때는 조용하고.
and silent when deep.
Ive always thought there was a place of me in your heart somewhere. I was way off and wrong. For all the years, that ive felt throughout all these emotional rollercoasters..constantly fought you and been with you and tried different things. Ive always thought of waiting for you in the end. I did and now i dont know what to do but all i know is that i have to start all over.No matter how fucking hard you were to tolerate, i knew i wanted to get myself into that. Even if not a single soul believed in us… I did.I mean now that I heard it loud and clear. Its time to truly change my place of heart. Give it time and make room for someone else. I wanted to think that things will go that way but it’s fast how another’s opinion doesnt follow through and quickly change the way how i act upon this entire thing. I hate to admit how hurt and how wrong ive been this entire time but i have to learn because thats all that there is. I know one thing that ive done that i havent done with anyone else was that i truly gave my “time, love and effort because thats how much i cared”
I used to think the word "maybe" would be one of those highlights of a question for me. That "maybe" I was just assuming and jumping straight to conclusions. I used to think “maybe”… was somewhat a significant word to describe my thoughts that there will be a slight change of decisions or even just hope. “Maybe” is a word where one day I would do certain things in which I will successfully accomplish some goal in which will help lead towards happiness. I find happiness the hardest thing to accomplish. Everyone in life will grow and will want a piece of success, love, trust and respect. The attentiveness, comfort, and just company from those I loved off was something I’ve always depended on the most in which I was left with feelings of disappointment. The simplicity of an unanswered phonecall, no replies to text messages, no replies towards an email or message and the effort of people giving up on me seems most reasonable for me to think that the people I love, don’t care as they used to. Maybe it’s because people eventually grow tired of the same things, same voice, and also the fact that people want new changes or meet different people. I’d like to think it’s one of those reasons for me to give an excuse for them. It’s like I tell myself “maybe, because they’re busy, maybe they’re not interested in me, maybe I’m just a complete joke that’s so called untrustworthy.I think that after writing this post “maybe, people will think I’m victimizing myself, that I am insecure but I don’t think I am.. I mean I’m just putting effort to the same people as always and it seems that no matter how many days go by or how slow the time passes…** Maybe,** I’m starting to feel all these changes. That we’re actually growing far apart faster than I thought. I mean.. it’s not a maybe thing for me to say that I care.. it’s just that I really do care so often.. I end up being the one getting left behind. I truly love those that hurt me still and I wouldn’t want to just leave all of this as it is.